Introduction
My Muslim identity evolved since childhood. So far, it was remarkable, with moments of solitude and community. Each significant experience moulded my knowledge of faith, belonging and culture, bringing together my personal thoughts and community life. In this article, I will explore the two sides of my identity: as an individual Muslim and in the community.
Primary and secondary school
Starting with primary school, this was where my identity was weakest. This was because moving to and settling into the UK from Palestine at an early age was challenging in the 2000s for me, particularly due to the impact of global events on Muslims. Hence, I struggled to uphold my own identity and communicate with people at a young age, which made me feel isolated. However, my interpersonal communication improved through consistent support from my teachers and other primary school staff, serving as the foundation for me to explore who I wanted to be and how I should contribute to the broader community. In turn, this even supported my transition into secondary school.
This was where my Muslim identity took twists and turns. Firstly, I went to a secondary school where I was one of the very few Muslims, so tailoring to my needs was not possible. Also, I remember numerous times of feeling isolated and lost, leading me to act in ways that went against my personal growth. For example, I was incredibly argumentative with everyone, from students to teachers. Nonetheless, this was when I made real friends through connecting with others. Moreover, secondary school was where I cultivated my passion for science and maths, which are essential parts of my Muslim identity because I value learning for my own sake and led me to want to teach and help others wherever possible.
College
Going into college, developing my Muslim identity was complicated. I knew my passion for science and maths was unwavering; I remembered being enthusiastic about my learning and helping others wherever possible with theirs, particularly in maths, as I was known for being really good at it. However, I felt I regressed. For instance, I recall different moments where I was incredibly competitive when other people excelled academically than I did, rather than being happy for them. I saw these moments as times where I felt insecure and unsure about myself, culminating in my feelings of isolation and exclusion from my college community.
Again, I formed friendships that shaped my Muslim identity as I saw myself become kinder and less argumentative, which contrasted how I was in secondary school. Similarly, I became treasurer on the student council, running events throughout my first year of college to raise money for Mind, a mental health charity. Suddenly, during my second year of college, the COVID-19 pandemic hit, a time when I struggled personally and socially with many people worldwide. Once it was over and after my gap year filled with volunteering and work, I went to university.
Undergraduate study
When I began as an undergraduate, my past struggles continued. Trying to find a community was mixed because although I did make some friends, they did not last. One aspect could have been how my past struggles manifested into my lack of personal development. Another could have been when I was doing multiple opportunities, such as work and volunteering, during my first and second years of undergraduate, not only for my professional development, but to compensate for my loneliness. Additionally, my passion for learning faded due to these various experiences during this period as an undergraduate.
I realised I had to change that during my third year, when I joined the Islamic society, and this was where my Muslim identity began to flourish. Furthermore, I built a community of friends I still keep in touch with. Equally, my awareness of the current struggles faced by Muslims expanded, leading me to participate in events hosted by the Islamic society to raise money to help Muslims globally. For instance, I took part in a hike to Scafell Pike, which raised a lot of money to support the Palestinians. In turn, my maturation as an individual Muslim and in the community, from minimal to substantial, which I carried over into postgraduate study.
Postgraduate study
With my past struggles addressed through the support of trusted people, I went into my postgraduate studies with a positive start. I rejoined the Islamic society at a new university and sought to be proactive wherever possible by vastly engaging with this community through friendships and participating in events. Although this was a highlight of my postgraduate studies, there were a few times when I made mistakes. For example, I took out my frustrations on friends during stressful times, which did not mirror my identity. Aside from that, I still had a few moments of competitiveness, though they were not as intense.
Despite these setbacks, I reflected and made amends where I could. Meanwhile, my passion for science and maths transformed into public health, which aligned with my Muslim identity as I got to discuss with my classmates many issues, like poverty and war, leading me to deeply probe the injustices worldwide through my assignments and external writing. Near the end of my postgraduate studies, I joined the Samir Foundation to advocate and empower Palestinian medical students in Gaza, which I am eager to contribute to amidst the ongoing genocide. Hence, my postgraduate studies were where my Muslim identity was strongest, which I will maintain.
Conclusion
Looking ahead, I am devoted to cultivating connections and sustaining my values, such as justice and knowledge expansion. My Muslim identity, shaped by a combination of beliefs with personal and shared experiences, continually guides me. Community and individuality are essential to my growth, and I aim to transform past struggles into strengths through active community engagement and following my passions. My journey has ingrained a profound gratitude for connections and support as I push forward.
