Pregnant, vulnerable and alone she stood.
And then he was there—the tyrant of the time—close enough that the air felt poisoned by his breath, heavy with threat and the tension sharp like a sword. He demanded names. Hiding places. The who, the what, the where, the how. The most valuable information of the time, thewhereabouts of her father and father’s beloved. But Asma bint Abi Bakr (RA) did not flinch. Resolute, firm and courageously she stood. Her calm was not softness. It was steel.
Her eyes and her voice didn’t show any fear. She answered with a steadiness so unnerving it made cruelty feel small. The tyrant pressed harder. Louder. Closer. She refused. Again. Then— A crack. A hand like a weapon, flew a slap so intense that it shook off the earrings from her ear and she fell to the floor. Pain surged. The world rang. And still—still—her resolve did not break.
He wanted her fear. But her composure stood there like a verdict, and it enraged him—humiliated by a woman who he could strike but could not conquer.
So, he left, fuming, dragging his rage out the door because he could not drag the truth out of her. And Asma (RA) gathered herself with a dignified grace and carried on with preparations for her father and the Prophet’s food and drink.
Now imagine yourself in that place. Feel the threat in your throat. The helplessness in your stomach. The instinct to protect what you carry, what you love. If a tyrant towered over, you—demanding what you know—what would you do?
Would your voice hold? Would you be able to keep your calm?
And what of the child within—what would that tiny heart learn about the world in that instant?
Faith. Tawakkul of the highest level. And Asma (RA) made it look so easy. Perhaps, a contributing factor may have been that she was the daughter of As-Siddiq, the one named so for his unwavering belief in the truthfulness of the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him).
That certainty was in her blood, in her bones and her heart was anchored where tyrants cannot reach. Despite her awareness of the dangers looming on the horizon, Asma persisted in calmly carrying out her duties of ensuring that the food and drink were carefully delivered to her father and the Messenger of Allah ﷺ high up in the cave of Thawr. She was challenged as to how to be able to carry the food and water together as she had only one waistband which she used to carry the provisions while she climbed up the mountain. That is when she split her waistband into two and carried the provisions in them. This splitting of the waistband earned her the nickname of the “The possessor of two waist belts- Dhat an-Nitaqayn”. The Prophet ﷺ gave her this title and the glad tidings that Allah will reward her with two belts in Paradise for this effort.
Visualise this for a moment, an almost full-term pregnant woman, scaling uneven mountainous terrain, with a villainous group of people after her to locate the Prophet and carrying food and water. Would that have been an easy task? With the strongest faith in her heart, she undertook this patiently. Isn’t that something for us to reflect on when life gets tough?
Asma bint Abi Bakr (RA) was not merely brave. She was unbreakable. Admirable. And her life despite being a quiet life gives us some of the loudest lessons of life, the little that we are sharing in this write-up all reflects this unbreakable faith in Allah swt till the very end of her life.
She was married to Zubair ibn Al-Awwam (RA) who was the cousin of the Prophet ﷺ, being the son of Saffiyah bint Abdul-Muttalib (RA). This was an ideal match in terms of both being early reverts and people of unshakeable faith. The two endured patiently their initial years of economic hardship without ever complaining of their limited means. Asma (RA) used to tend to the animals, knead, grind date seeds, fetch water from far and carried huge loads on her head.
She respected her husband and fulfilled her duties as a good wife. Once, when the Prophet ﷺ saw her walking by with a load of date stones on her head, He stopped his camel and asked her to come sit on it and go home, but Asma refused the kind offer. She did so because she was concerned about the protective “ghirah- jealousy” that Zubair (RA) had for her. Later when she recounted this to her, he is reported to have said, that he found it more shameful that his wife was seen by the Prophet carrying loads instead. What a wonderful display of respect between spouses. Each thinking about the other and not their apparent discomforts. Again, something for us to reflect on, as spouses do we show enough respect to each other? Asma (RA) persisted with this life till one day she was gifted a slave by her father, thereupon when the slave took up some tasks like tending to the animals, Asma is said to have said that she felt like she had been emancipated!
Moving unto her children, Allah swt blessed the union of Asma and Zubair with truly wonderful and some unique children. They share the honour of having given birth to the first child born into the new Muslim community of Madina after Hijrah. The birth of Abdullah ibn Zubair (RA) was a celebration in all of Madinah. And He went on to live a life that celebrated Islam to his best capabilities. Another of their truly unique child was Urwa Ibn Zubair (RA), he went on to be a scholar and devoted his entire life’s effort to collecting every possible information about the Prophet ﷺ. He was blessed with the wonderful combination for his sources of information. His own parents of course, but the half-sister of his mother was Ayesha bint Abi Bakr (RA). And who could be a better source of information than the beloved wife of the Prophet himself. This unique position allowed Urwa (RA) to dedicate himself completely to be the first scholar of the seerah.
As this write-up wraps up, the focus is on the last phase of her life. Her son Abdullah Ibn Zubair (RA) was in battle against Al-Hajjaj ibn Yusuf ath-Thaqafi on behalf of the Ummayads who were trying to take control of Makkah as well. Asma (RA) was at this point about 100 years old and partially blind. Her son sought reassurance and advice from his mother at this difficult moment, when the battle had come to Makkah. Abdullah addressed her: “O mother, the people abandoned me; only a few of them who still support me. However, they could no longer fight than an hour on my part.” The other party offers to give me whatever I ask of worldly benefits. What do you see, mother?
She replied: “It’s your affair, Abdullah, and you know yourself better. If however, you think that you are right and that you are standing up for the Truth, then persevere and fight on as your companions who were killed under your flag had shown perseverance. If, however you desire the world, what a miserable wretch you are. You would have destroyed yourself and you would have destroyed your men.”
When Abdullah expressed his concerns on being mutilated after death, this is what his fearless mother replied: “There is nothing after death that man should be afraid of. Skinning does not cause any pain to the slaughtered sheep.”
These are the words spoken by a 100-year-old Asma. Imagine at that age, her resolve in life didn’t abate. As Abdullah prepared to leave, she asked him to come closer so she could hug him before he left. As she felt his body, she noticed he was wearing his armour. She then reminded him: This, my son, ls not the dress of one who desires martyrdom. Take it off. That will make your movements lighter and quicker. Wear instead the sirwal (a long under garment) so that if you are killed your ‘awrah will not be exposed.”
Abdullah then left her requesting for her duas. And duas she did. Abdullah Ibn Zubair (RA) was martyred and just as he had feared, also mutilated. Al Hajjaj then sent for the mother to come and take the body. But she refused to come. He again sent the messenger to her with the message that she must come, otherwise he would bring her forcibly catching hold of her hair. But she again refused and said: “By Allah, I will not come to you until you send one to me who would drag me by pulling my hair.”
Thereupon he said: “Bring me my shoes.” He put on his shoes and walked on quickly swollen with vanity and pride until he came to her and said: “How do you find what I have done with the enemy of Allah?”
She said: “I find that you wronged him in this world, whereas he has spoiled your next life. Verily Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) told us that in Thaqif, there would be born a great liar and great murderer. The liar we have seen, and as far as the murderer is concerned, I do not find anyone else besides you. 'Thereupon he (Hajjaj) stood up and did not give any reply to her.”
In the face of yet another tyrant, Asma (aged 100) stood firm, resolute and composed. What more can now be said about this unshakeable, unbreakable and admirable Asma. She passed away a few days after this at peace that she saw her son die a martyr in the way of Allah. This is the life she lived, defined by a faith and patience.
May Allah swt be pleased with her and her children and may we find inspiration for when we are down to rebuild our faith, practice patience and be firm when facing tyrants. Ameen
